


hello catastrophizing but also

by a financial diuretic (Shame_Account)



Series: i've seen 2 whole episodes of Suits don't ask me how lawyering works [11]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Nonbinary Character, Texting, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-16 01:43:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7247131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shame_Account/pseuds/a%20financial%20diuretic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[10:36 am] ok classic Dad Friend but!! we love you!! and u! r! allowed! to come to us! for help!</p>
<p>[10:36 am] fuKC sorry classic Parent Friend</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <b>[10:36 am] lmao nah i am def still the Dad Friend. i mean you're the Vodka Aunt Friend who lives with the other Vodka Aunt Friend who thinks he's the Mom Friend.</b>
  </em>
</p>
<p>[10:37 am] ok tru</p>
            </blockquote>





	hello catastrophizing but also

**Author's Note:**

> i just,,, wanted to write something happy and fluffy and friendshippy and involving hercules mulligan and a tiny bit of worldbuilding ok
> 
> Other Things are in the works

_**[10:19 am] happy saturday im not cis** _

[10:19 am] !!!!! welcome to the club holy shit what are ur pronouns

_**[10:20 am] i don't actually know yet please help** _

[10:20] yes absolutely u have come to the right place my friend, tell me which ones you're thinking of and i'll help you feel them out?

_**[10:22] ok 'he' is out im done with it but maybe include it as like. a control group or whatever. she/her/hers, ey/em/eirs, ve/vir/vis, they/them/theirs, xe/xir/xirs, e/em/irs, fae/faer/faers, maybe 'it'? help me alex i have been Reading Things for Months there are So Many** _

[10:22] i got u hold on

[10: 22] o wait name??

_**[10:22] keeping it** _

[10:22] cool

[10:27] My friend Herc is done with 'he' pronouns. They just aren't his. They don't suit him.

Herc picked up her phone and texted me. She asked for my help so I am helping her.

Herc is an amazing tailor. Ey can make miracles happen with fabric. I would never go to anyone but em and not just because I get a ridiculous discount at eir shop.

Herc goes grocery shopping because ve needs milk and eggs. Ve almost forgets vis phone, but a text goes off and reminds vir.

Herc used to go to the gym a lot and now they do all the heavy lifting at their shop. They could probably benchpress me. I am impressed by them and their stamina.

Herc is very nice. Xe once spent all afternoon trying to find the owner of a stray cat that followed xir home. Now the cat is xirs.

Herc's friends are all The Worst and e probably shouldn't have listened to us about cat names because now and forever ir cat is called Purrcules Mulligan. But e loves Purrcules and Purrcules loves em.

Herc has dirt on so many people. They talk to faer during fittings and tell faer things they would never tell anyone else. Fae could probably destroy all of NYC by sending like three texts. The power is faers. (im just saying t h i n k about it)(team up with their hairdressers/barbers i bet they know anything you don't)

We are nearing the end which is good bc i am running out of things to say. Herc is a good friend. It has helped me out a lot and I am glad to lend it an ear in figuring out its pronouns.

_**[10:29 am] ok 1 "i am running out of things to say" im framing that** _

_**[10:29 am] 2 stop trying to use me to further your many political agendas i am a simple tailor** _

[10:29 am] *surejan.mp3* sure garak

_**[10:32 am] 3 yes literally all of you terrible people inundated me with "PURRCULES MULLIGAN" texts until i gave in but Eliza said it first stop trying to take credit** _

_**[10:32 am] 4 i kind of like xe/xir/xirs. i think.** _

[10:32 am] her text went through faster bc she has the best phone plan i will die on this hill but NICE

_**[10:32 am] can i like. can it be xe/xem/xirs instead? is that a thing i am Allowed To Do?** _

[10:32 am] you can do whatever you want

_**[10:33 am] you know what i mean** _

[10:33 am] You Can Do Whatever You Want and I Will Fight People Who Say Otherwise

[10:33 am] do you want another example

_**[10:33 am] sure** _

[10:34 am] I am belatedly realizing that Herc said xe has been Reading Things for Months? Xe came out to me today but I do not know if xe has come out to anyone else, and while that is definitely xir choice, I am now worried about the possibility that xe has been trying to figure this out from the closet for Some Time with no one to help xem.

_**[10:35 am] okay i definitely. like those.** _

_**[10:35 am] also,,, about that,,,,,,,** _

[10:35 am] herccccc

_**[10:36 am] i didn't really know how to talk about it? like at first i wasn't sure it was Anything and then i wasn't sure What it was and i still kind of don't know that but. idk i didn't want to give everybody another thing to worry about** _

[10:36 am] ok classic Dad Friend but!! we love you!! and u! r! allowed! to come to us! for help!

[10:36 am] fuKC sorry classic Parent Friend

_**[10:36 am] lmao nah i am def still the Dad Friend. i mean you're the Vodka Aunt Friend who lives with the other Vodka Aunt Friend who thinks he's the Mom Friend.** _

[10:37 am] ok tru

_**[10:37 am] i have been trying to tell Laf for months now but every time i stop myself because?? telling Laf kind of means telling Adrienne and i mean Adrienne is Cool but she is cis and i am Afraid. please tell me im being ridiculous** _

[10:37 am] you are not that's a reasonable fear

[10:39 am] herc. john is a doctor. who i have had sex with. he walked in on me getting dressed last week and i dove under a blanket bc barely visible top surgery scars. you're not being ridiculous.

_**[10:39 am] thanks** _

_**[10:40 am] it's not just that though i mean?? i know Laf wouldn't actually tell Adrienne if i asked them not to. the whole thing is just. scary.** _

[10:40 am] yeah. it is.

[10:40 am] you don't have to tell anyone you don't want to tell.

_**[10:40 am] i think i'm afraid they'll offer to answer questions** _

_**[10:40 am] and like. that the answers will scare me or won't make sense and it'll turn out i'm actually just a freak?? and there aren't any answers out there???** _

_**[10:41 am] which is like haha okay i Recognize This hello catastrophizing but also What If.** _

[10:41 am] are you at home rn

_**[10:41 am] yes why** _

[10:41 am] go find Purrcules Mulligan and pet her it will help

[10:41 am] this is sound medical advice trust me my roommate's a doctor

[10:41 am] hair of the cat-astrophizing that bit u kind of thing

_**[10:42 am] f uck u omg okay im looking for her** _

_**[10:45 am] i found her this is helping thank you doctor** _

[10:45 am] great now just continue listening 2 me: you are Not A Freak, even if Laf can't answer your questions, even if the internet can't answer your questions, even if it turns out No One can answer your questions. but someone probably can.

[10:45 am] also i can Feel that u r already Guilty about the idea of asking them / me for help, please see my point several texts ago, u r allowed to need things from us

_**[10:45 am] yeah. thanks.** _

[10:46 am] though uh if it would make you feel any better and also as an excuse to maybe talk about this stuff in person if you want: there is a Gigantic Tear in the lining of the only Professional Lawyer Suit Jacket i currently own that is Boss-Approved for court proceedings and i have been putting off getting it fixed bc a) Money (lack of) b) Clients (lack of, see a), and c) you can't actually see it as long as i'm careful

_**[10:46 am] whAT IS WRONG WITH YOU BRING IT HERE** _

[10:46 am] THANKS

_**[10:46 am] THE COST OF THE REPAIR IS TO YELL WITH ME ABOUT GENDER-RELATED BULLSHIT WHILE I WORK** _

[10:47: am] I CAN DO THAT

_**[10:50 am] ALSO BRING FOOD I DID NOT IN FACT GO GROCERY SHOPPING** _

[10:51 am] DOES 'FOOD' ALSO INCLUDE ALCOHOL. AFTER YOU'RE DONE WITH ALL SHARP OBJECTS AND DELICATE PROCEDURES I MEAN BUT IT IS THE WEEKEND.

_**[10:51 am] PLEASE** _

[10:51 am] THE SENIOR VODKA AUNT FRIEND WILL PROVIDE

_**[10:51 am] THANK YOU VODKA AUNT SUPERIOR ALEX, JUNIOR VODKA AUNT / CONCERNED MOM JOHN WILL NEVER TOUCH YOUR TITLE** _

[10:51 am] THANK YOU I TRY


End file.
